I guess I’ve been putting off writing this blog post.
I’ve thought about it all day today and now that Luke is sleeping for a little while, I have a few minutes to write. Today is the last day of my maternity leave. Technically, it’s not until this weekend, but today is my last day with just Luke and I. Any mother who has had children and is getting ready to go back to work feels the same way; excited to go back to work, to be around familiar faces, to get ‘back in the groove’, and to be challenged professionally. But, I would be lying if I didn’t say it was also really, really hard.
Staying at home is such a double-edge sword. On one had I absolutely love it – I love not having to get all dressed up, lazy afternoons snuggling with my baby, catching up with old friends on the phone or in person. No schedules, no meetings.
Of course there’s all the things that aren’t so fun like trying to figure out what’s for dinner (I definitely have not mastered that one), doing laundry all day, cleaning the house which never seems to end, etc. I give so much credit to anyone who is a full-time stay at home mom. I don’t know if I could do it.
But on the other hand – there is nothing like watching your baby fall asleep in your arms, or the sweet smell of their fuzzy little head, or the smile they give you when you make eye contact with them, or their little gurgling sounds, or the weight of their warm sweaty bodies after a long nap. Those are the things I’m going to miss. I’m going to miss the little nuances that only a mother would notice – like how he’s starting to suck on the blankie if his pacifier falls out, or that he doesn’t like the mobile on if he’s trying to fall asleep – that’s only for hanging out in the crib (while mommy does another load of laundry! :)), or how if you rub his head and talk to him in a certain way he will fall asleep, or the “just right” position for feeding him. There is definitely something to be said about how a mother knows her baby.
And it doesn’t happen right away – at least for me it didn’t. The same thing happened with Owen. When a baby is born, there is a bit of a ‘dance’ for the 1st few days or weeks as you get to know them and they get to know you. It’s almost like courtship. I remember the 1st few days with Luke – he would cry and I wouldn’t know what he wanted. I was tired, cranky, sore, hormonal, and kept calling him Owen. 🙂
But now, 3 months into this gig, I’ve got it down. Most of the time I know what every fidget and fuss means, how to calm him down, and how to make him happy.
A mother knows.
And it feels like just as I’ve gotten in my groove, it’s time to change again – but that’s life right? The same can be said for raising our 3 year old Owen – just as we get into a comfortable routine, something changes and he grows up just a little bit more.
So how did I spend my “last day” with my baby? Just like any other day – my day revolved around him and his schedule, we did a lot of cuddle time, lots and lots of kisses, and of course the obligatory trip to Target. I think I’ve been to Target more in the last 3 months more than the last year! On a side note – I’m always amazed at the amount of people in Target on a Tuesday at 10 AM. Don’t people work? 🙂 I guess that’s another topic, another day.
So today was just another ordinary day. I was finally inspired to put my thoughts down onto my blog after a very dear friend posted the most beautiful video on my Facebook page about “The gift of an ordinary day.”
I hope you enjoy it as much as I did – but make sure you have some tissue ready!
I also want to take this moment to thank all my wonderful friends and family for all the support and love they have given me – throughout my pregnancy and my maternity leave. Never underestimate the power of an email, a phone call, a text, a card in the mail, a Facebook message – it was so much appreciated. I also want to thank the amazing people I work with for their support, telling me to stop checking my email :), and giving me the time I needed. Everyone should be so lucky!
Here’s to the next chapter in my life…