I think anyone who is a mom has a notion of what a “good mom” is. We are pretty harsh on ourselves and other moms. I know I’ve been guilty! I’ve silently judged other moms I’ve seen out and about – maybe they looked harried or their kids were unruly. And then I’m reminded that you never know the whole story, right? I think as moms we are constantly comparing what we do or don’t do with our other mom friends, and what we think is “the right thing to do.”
What do I have to feel guilty about? Here is my confessional…
Sometimes I feel like I’m not as good as a mom as I could be. I let Owen eat what we wants to (within reason) for dinner. He hardly ever eats veggies – although we do try! He’s not potty trained yet and he is 3 years old. Sometimes I’m so tired I don’t rock Luke to sleep, I lay him down and he falls asleep on his own. I don’t cook except for popcorn that I burn and scrambled eggs that stick to the pan. Owen knows McDonald’s too well. We let Owen watch his movies probably more than we should. I don’t make the beds everyday. I get tired and cranky easily. Sometimes the littlest things irritate me. I get frustrated when Luke is crying and I don’t know what to do. I only breastfed for the 1st month and probably will stop soon because it’s hard, I’m tired, and frankly bottles are easier for me. I clean more when I know my mom is coming over. I could continue… 🙂
I try not to be hard on myself but I think the standard we have set for ourselves is pretty high – that not many people can reach it.
So beside all that… how do I really know I am a good mom?
I know I’m a good mom every night when Owen and I do our bed time routine, and he loves for me to read his favorite story over and over again. I know I’m a good mom when he calls out for me – to give him one more snuggle or to rub his back to go to sleep. I know I’m a good mom when he wants to rock with me at night, and I whisper in his ear how much I love him and how proud I am of him. I know I’m a good mom when I pick him up from daycare and he squeals and runs into my arms. I know I’m a good mom when Owen asks my, “Play trains with me Mommy?” and I stop what I’m doing to play trains with him. I know I’m a good mom when Luke is crying and I pick him up and he snuggles into me – like only a baby does when it smells its mommy. I know I’m a good mom because I know Luke’s sounds already and know when he is hungry or tired or just needs to be held. I know I’m a good mom because regardless of the day I’ve had – cuddles with my boys is the best part of my day. I know I’m a good mom because I love their dad very much – and although we argue sometimes, at the end of the day, I know he is the best dad and wonderful husband. I think it’s really important for children to see that with their parents.
My advice to my mommy friends? Don’t be so hard on yourself – you are doing the best you can. Repeat that. You are doing the best you can.
The most important thing is you love your kids. The dishes will be there, the laundry may pile up – but at the end of the day – you ARE a good mom!
Have a great day! (Now go grab a latte!!) 🙂